dramas of my life

Oh yeah! Its not only the baby who is getting her shots. The mommy too!

Today when I went for a check up, Doc gave me two shots - FLU and PNEUMONIA. The flu shots is given every year and the pneumonia shot is given every five years. I know I needed both since my first indicator of a lupus flare is always a FLU. Once I got the temperature everyone who is familiar of my lupus (families, friends, co workers etc) will be overly worried of me. So just a precaution, I know I needed to take the shot.

I’m trying to gather my thoughts so that I will have a decent entry for this. Right now, I have too much worries in my mind. Worries that may or may not materialized in the future.

EDZ death really left me in a shaken state. Up until this time I am still worried as to what direction my lupus will be going. As to what complication I have to endure a long the way. While I was on my way to St. Lukes for my check up, she and what she have been through have been on my mind.

I am still not over EDZ‘ death. I really don’t know the cause of death and I don’t want to know really. Her death scared me a lot. She and I shared the same disease but with different complications. I think Edz’ lupus was discovered when it was already full blown and had so many complications. Mine was diagnosed when it was still starting and yes, I have found a good doctor that is very familiar with LUPUS. Because of him, any complications are detected early.

I’m forcing myself to write to keep my mind from wandering and harboring those unpleasant thoughts. Today, just a few minutes ago, my heart sank when I read this post.

At first my mind refuse to process what I am reading. Seeing the word FAREWELL and the beautiful picture of EDZ gave me shiver. I was thinking, it can’t be right ? But as go through the post, reality start rushing in. I never wanted to hear of death. Especially those that I know who suffered of LUPUS. Its disheartening and have really bad effect on me.