Looking at the princess now, a lot of things comes to my mind. Some I cannot remember and some I try to remember and some i always remember.
Like this one….what would Anevay be as she grows up. What would she be like ? What would she like ? This thinking got me reminiscing my childhood. How i grow up, my decisions, experiences and more which constitute to who I am now.
When I was in kindergarten, I remember pretty well those lines, which I have recited in front of the altar of our parochial church. It goes “when I grow up, I want to be a doctor “. Yes, from then on up until my elementary days I wanted to be a doctor. But when I was in high school that change because of our financial status.
When I was in fourth year high school I was in a limbo as to what course I am going to take. Unlike my older sister who knew from the start what she wanted to take, me I was searching. I wanted to be a dentist. An idea that I easily give up because of my fear and then I wanted to be a lawyer but my uncle who is a lawyer told me that I should not take up law as my first course. If I really wanted to be a lawyer he said I should first take up a course that would let me work. And once I worked then that is the time I should take up law.
I really had a hard time thinking what course to take. Especially the summer before entering into college papa and mommy died. Of course, not at the same day but twelve days apart. Papa died April 14 and Mommy died April 26. After all the hush hush, i decided to enroll myself in UE for B.S. Computer Science.
Quite frankly, I did not know what that course is. I was clueless. At the back of my mind, I pose a challenge to myself. Telling myself that if I am really that intelligent ( getting all those 10+ medals in my HS graduation) I would pass any course I would take.
So on I go. Gawd! No one ever told me that COMPUTER SCIENCE is full of MATH. I hate that subject. Even if my sister is a MATH QUIZBEE CHAMP I cannot see myself solving all those problems especially in calculus. That i end up having a 2.75 grade in my calculus II. Which is my one and only 2.75 and lowest grade ever in my college life.
Add to the fact that you still have to do flowcharts before you do programs. I am not good in doing flowchart. And I am not even good in doing programs. But of course, I was able to finished our thesis and the docu for that in one semester even if fellow students are doubting our capability (being an all girls group) if we can complete our thesis because students before us took two sems to complete theirs.
When I was in my 4th year, I knew I could not be a computer programmer despite the fact that I am a COMSCI graduate. It just was not me. So, I was not surprised when i end up at IBM doing things that was not what a COMSCI should be doing. But needless to say, this course have help me understand all the systems that we are using and made it possible for me to familiarize myself with the ins and outs of their system. And now, withing 30 minutes I can give you a flowchart of a certain process with detailed procedure. hehe!
Weird! Now, I cannot envisioned myself sitting in the cubicle, in front of a PC, working 8 hours a day. Yes! You heard me right. If the time comes that I needed to go back to the corporate world, I might be doing that with a heavy heart.
Because after all those competitions, after all those stress, I finally found what I have been looking for. I am at my happiest now. Tending to an ever growing demanding baby girl.
So, where does being a doctor fit in? Well, I just remembered the support my parent gave me. No matter how impossible it was for me to be a doctor because of our financial status then they allowed me to dream. They never cut me off. They made that dream a challenge for me. A challenge that let me strive and persevere.
Which I do hope I can do to Anevay.
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