dramas of my life

Last week have been busy for me. As in its the busiest. Starting May 17. Because hubby was able to come home for vacation and that vacation was spent mostly outside the house, taking care of some documents or shopping for his things. I am not complaining though because it was time well spent. Although I wish it was longer.

I would write another entry for his visit.

Right now what I wanted to write about is the most fearful day of my life. That day that have changed a part of me. It made me realize the value of taking care of myself for the sake of my family.

When I gave birth to Anevay, it was a different high. Imagine from being that lupus patient who have difficulty walking I am now a mother to a healthy baby and I am healthy. No signs of lupus being there. So I skipped my medicine and forget about my visits to the doctor.

After resigning from work, I decided to go for a check up. Because Joseph is really bugging me to. So I went. Doctor Ino was somehow mad because i think he thinks that I am underestimating my lupus.

Indeed I was. And it did not help that I went to his clinic on my bday. I went there with the results of my urinalysis, creatinine and the cbc. The cbc I know there is no problem but when I saw the result of the urinalysis I just know there is something wrong.

Dr. Ino looks at me and seriously said that I have to undergo chemotherapy. I wanted to cry at that time. CHEMOTHERAPY? heck! For the life of me how can I take care of Anevay if I go through it. That was the first thought the come to my mind. The next was how much would that slice our finances. And next, who would take care of me ?

Those have flashed on my mind. But I still put up a brave face. I told Dr. Ino that is it really necessary. The protein leak might just be a result of me not taking prednisone. And so we come up with an agreement. I would be undergoing a 24hour urine test for protein and creatinine so that we could check if my kidneys are already damage.

And so, I left his clinic downhearted on my birthday. Imagine that! This time I talked to God again. I was asking for forgiveness. I know it was my fault. I should have taken care of myself. So I told him to give me another chance. I did not bargain for anything. Nor propose a trade off. I just told God to help me make it through. And next time I would be more diligent when it comes to my health.

But I also prepared myself for the thought of undergoing chemotherapy. yes! if it can prolonged my life I would happily go for it.

And so, my next check up was May 17. Morning of May 17. And in the afternoon Mahal will be here. I told Mahal about the incident and he told me that we will keep on praying. I told him I hope that when he comes home I would be able to greet him with a smile.

And so May 17 came. I got the result for my 24 hour urine and it still has protein leak. I already have a bargain on my mind with Dr. Ino. I will undergo the chemo after Anevay’s 1st bday. Which is JULY. And I do hope he agrees.

I went to his clinic, chat with some ladies who as Badeth(Dr. Ino’s secretary) would call them ‘my classmates’ and told them my story. They are amazed by me. According to them I do not look sick. They have lots of agonizing stories of their illness. I have smiled to them and told them I have been through worst. And one of them told me (she is 35 years old with 3 kids and has impaired kidneys and is yet to be diagnosed with LUPUS) that I was her inspiration. I told her with Badeth backing me up that before I really look like a zombie. Thanks to Dr. Ino I was able to overcome that lung operation, pulmonary embolism, cyst in my ovary, was able to give birth and now a mother to a beautiful baby girl.

When it was my turn for the check up, I handed Dr. Ino of the result. And guess what he told me ? the protein leak is not that bad! Prednisone can control it. And I do not have to undergo chemotherapy! God is really good! But of course we still need to monitor.

After my check up I headed straight to GATEWAY, have pedicure, went to riverbanks for grocery and met Archie.

I was on cloud 9. Until my husband arrived. He too was happy. It was the first news I told him.

Thank you Lord. Thank you for making me realized that if i do love my family I should also have to take care of myself. If I wanted to live longer then I would have to live on the right track. It is not much for me to go on a regular visit to the doctor. I am very lucky that my sickness was detected early and so as part of that good fate I should take care of myself.

Thank you Lord. Thank you!

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On a different note, my husband is on his way to Boulder for his training. I do hope he have a safe flight.

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