I have created this post to tell the tales of my struggle with the diseases that I have been plagued with.
I am a SHE, 26 years of age and recently married.Last 2002 I was diagnosed of having LUPUS and from then on I have been experiencing different pains. Last year, things got complicated when my rheuma confirmed that I have pulmonary embolism after I was operated for having fluid in my lungs.Life was not easy for me. I have to be monitored by my rheuma and now I am adding my obgyne on my list of need to visit doctors. From time to time I go to the derma but I have found it best to determine what my skins needs and I needed to use.
Let me go back by telling you my life…
BEFORE I HAVE LUPUS
I was your hyperactive fellow. I usually go out with friends and will be initiating get togethers. I am a morning person. I love to cook and do houseworks. I am your independent kind of girl and I hate to depend my needs on other person. I do not date but God bless me to met and have a very dependable boyfriend now husband when i was 21 years old. He was my first and only bf. I work round the clock and always on the move. I do not get tired easily and always on the go.
NOW I HAVE LUPUS
How DID IT ALL STARTED?
June 2002. Got high fever for almost a week. I thought it was just an ordinary sickness. But hell! Its already one week and its still there. I cannot eat anymore. And my weight is dropping. People thought i was taking diet pills but no i was not. Its just keep on dropping and I dont know why. After a week, the fever is now accompanied with aches on my knees and my fingers. My fingers are swollen that I cannot even hold my spoon and fork nor spoon my chicken and rice. I have been not reporting to the office for a week, so the next week I decided to go even with a high fever.
Going to the office was a proven miracle. My angels are with me on my way to work because I was dizzy and somewhat in a delirious state. It seems to me that our office is not the same anymore. There are changes that have taken place. Like the cr from being only two I have seen three. And man! Seating was such a huge task for me and walking. It takes me thirty minutes just to go to the ladies room from my desk. would you believe that. My steps are even smaller that a standard ruler.Lunch time…my officemates are already convincing me to go to the hospital. At that time I told myself to give in. So I started texting my dearest. He came just in time and he had rushed me to the nearest hospital.
I was hospitalized for ten days. For the first few days, the doctors cannot find out whats wrong. I was seeing five doctors at that time of confinement. When the diagnosis came, we just accepted it. Why? Because LUPUS was unknown to us.
Least i know this will be my curse as long as I live. Because it was INCURABLE.
Now, I remember Valerie crying and Homer calling me. Valerie was crying because her mom died because of LUPUS.
After being confined for ten days…i was again being warded off to the hospital after a check up with my doctor. And that again is 6 days.
A lot of test..series of blood extraction and blood transfusion.
Total hospital bill reach almost 100K…Its a good thing i got an HMO as a compnay benefit.
You know who is my constant companion in the hospital? My everdearest hubby. If there is one thing good that have come out it was the LOVE that he and I shared. When I confirmed that I had lupus I tried many times to break up with him. YES! I know i was lucky to have him because of his patience and unconditional love for me. But I was not selfish. I do not want to confine him in a relationship that entails him a little sacrifice. At those times that I wanted OUT in the relationship, I feel that I was not complete. That its unfair for him to take care of me, her sick gf. But man! my husband is an extraordinary man. Not only did he fight the odds but he have encourage me to fight back. To fight for my life and to fight for our LOVE. He help me keep my sanity and my faith. He have prayed hard not for himself but for me. And now, he is the reason why I am alive.
THE STRUGGLES
After two confinement, I have stayed at home and rested. But resting did not do me well. I still got fever and my mobility have slowed down. I have problems moving around and at night i would have nightmares.
I have trouble focusing on conversations and have problems remembering. I thought I will go insane because one of the doctors told me that if i wont be taking the right meds my lupus would affect my brain.
I was told to eat green leafy vegetables and fresh fruits. It was really hard. And what is harder are the follow up check ups with my doctor. Because the lines are long and her clinic is not accesible by public vehicles.
At that point, blood extractions is no longer a monster to me. I was getting used to it that when I am being extracted I just look at it.The hospital I was confined to have admitted that I was their first case of LUPUS. And that my doctor who is a nephrologist is not very familiar with it. And that started my doubts about her. I go to her but she just keeps on increasing and decreasing my pred. Increase it when i have joint pains and decrease the next time we see each other. I got tired of that. And i started not to see her and scout around. I just managed my lupus by taking prednisone.
The scouting was also hellish. I remember one time we went to a hospital, because of a referral of a friend. I went to see a doctor. Would you believe what the doctor told me ? That my sickness is INCURABLE. Nde na daw ako gagaling! What the ! i thank him and paid him 300 and stormed out of that damn hospital. But i cried. I wept. At that time I was losing hope.
And the hope I managed to hang on slowly diminish when 2003 I was again hospitalized. But this time to a different hospital. Where I met my rheuma. Things got better.
But early 2004…again another trip down the hospital. And I was operated. This time i was confined for 3 weeks. And have to spend valentines day there. Sept 2004..another one.
2005…NO CONFINEMENT….yes!
NOW
My last confinement was September of 2004. Now its almost one year. And I am keeping my fingers crossed that I would finish 2005 without being hospitalized…pray for me please.
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